


What the Hell Just Landed on That House?

by JayTDawgzone9999



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Alcohol, Caffeine Withdrawal, Canon Universe, Drugs, Eventual Smut, F/M, I added an entire extra subplot to justify Hyoga and Mozu not being invited to the wedding, M/M, Post-Canon, Smut, Some Humor, Stone Age drugs are weirder than normal drugs, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Weddings, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22205980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayTDawgzone9999/pseuds/JayTDawgzone9999
Summary: Senku and Gen make a special commitment to each other, but in the stone world, chaos stops for nobody, not even a genius scientist and a charismatic mentalist on their wedding night.
Relationships: Asagiri Gen/Ishigami Senkuu, Hokutouzai Minami/Shishiou Tsukasa
Kudos: 18





	What the Hell Just Landed on That House?

**Author's Note:**

> Me, slapping together popular pairings and crack pairings in the same fic? It's more likely than you think.

Tsukasa had never enjoyed large crowds, so he was pleased to note that Senku hadn't invited too many people to his wedding. Ruri, a priestess, ensured that the whole thing ran smoothly and the ceremony itself was short and sweet (besides Taiju and Chrome howling and sobbing in sheer joy and Yuzuriha and Nikki ugly crying out of happiness for their friends, at least.) Apparently, or so Minami filled him in after Senku revived him, Senku and Gen had fallen in love some time ago and decided to have a simple wedding ceremony right outside Ishigami village after returning from their mission to find out what caused the petrification incident. Though neither of them were exactly the touchy-feel type, Senku and Gen were basically always by each other's sides and Tsukasa was perceptive enough to notice that Senku looked happier now than he had ever recalled seeing him before.

As Senku was the one who saved his life, Tsukasa was more than happy to attend the ceremony and support his friend, even if he wasn't particularly fond on the flamboyant mentalist he chose to spend the rest of his life with. Sure, he had to revive him because he needed someone with his skills back when defeating Senku was his ultimate goal, but the past was the past, for better or for worse, and so Tsukasa resolved to let bygones be bygones. At least, that was the idea, he thought, sitting next to some strangely jacked old dude who was snoring louder than a train while Gen kept running his mouth. It had been over 10 minutes since he even mentioned anything about the man he was in love with, and at this point, Tsukasa, like everyone else there, had no idea what the cinnamon toast fuck Gen was even talking about anymore. Though it had been over half an hour since Gen had started his improvised speech for his wedding to Senku, Taiju, the overenthusiastic himbo that he was, and his girl, Yuzuriha, both had tears streaming down their faces, along with Nikki and Chrome, who by now had begun crying a little less dramatically, while the rest of the crowd that was still awake (all 37 of them,) looked on in silence. 

"Sorry, Senku, but this is getting to be a bit too much." Tsukasa thought as he got up and and walked off to go stretch his legs. After his stint in the freezer, Tsukasa found that staying still for long periods of time while surrounded by lots of people or in a tight space made him feel uncomfortable so he decided to walk around for a few minutes and see if he felt any better, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Senku was still paying close attention to Gen and not looking in his direction at all. 

Though he fully intended to return once he didn't feel so claustrophobic, fate had other ideas in store for him. 

"Hey, let go you fat ass motherfucker, no way a big fat meathead like you could even shoot that thing!" Yo yelled, desperately scrambling for his gun that Magma was holding just out of his reach while he kept the smaller man in a headlock. 

"Oh yeah, what're you gonna do about it you weaselly little pipsqueak?!" Magma hollered in response, screaming when Yo bit his arm, which was then followed by the pair of hot blooded idiots tackling each other and wrestling on the ground, Yo trying to snatch his gun from Magma and Magma trying to keep Yo from taking it. 

When Tsukasa saw the source of the obnoxious noise he heard after making his way a little over two miles away from Gen, Senku, and everyone else, he picked both of them up without a word, remaining completely silent as they looked up at him in terror. 

"Hm, that was refreshing, now it's nice and quiet again." Tsukasa thought after throwing Magma and Yo out of the way a long enough distance that he could neither see or hear where either of them landed. 

The welcome sense of peacefulness wasn't to last, however, as no sooner than Tsukasa noticed the delightful silence did he hear the sound of a woman, and a familiar-sounding woman at that, crying. 

"What are you doing out here?" Tsukasa asked Minami when he saw her with her arms around her knees, shaking a little and crying more than a little. 

"Oh, I, uh, well, I had to use the bathroom and before I could go back, I saw them fighting and I was afraid to risk getting too close to them trying to go back so I had to stay out here." she replied, wiping tears from her eyes with one hand. "If I had known I was going to be stuck out here this long, I would have brought my jacket. I think Nikki has it." 

Tsukasa listened in silence for a moment, waiting until she had finished speaking before helping her to her feet. 

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me, those two are morons sometimes. Well, more than sometimes. How long have you been out here?" Tsukasa asked, running a mental checklist of the pros and cons of returning to the celebration then in his mind as the much smaller woman hugged him, squeezing tightly for a moment before her eyes widened in realization. 

"An hour-" she paused when she realized how close she was to him, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't-I know you don't like to be touched, I wasn't thinking!" she stammered, pulling away from him as she apologized profusely. 

"It's fine, don't worry about it." he told her. 

He was no social butterfly but there were lots of things worse than being hugged by a small, cute woman. 

"More importantly, it's starting to get dark, so we should head back now." he continued, glancing at her to see if she was okay. 

"Do you think people will notice that my eyes still look puffy?" she asked while they were walking back. 

"Probably not." he replied after visions of Taiju howling with tears of joy streaming down his face, Yuzuriha silently crying, Chrome cheering and yelling and crying, and Nikki sobbing in sheer happiness when Senku gave Gen the shortest kiss that had probably ever occurred in the history of the human race and turned as red as tomato when Gen tried to pick him up and they both fell over, both of them too embarrassed to get up until Nikki and Taiju rushed over to help them to their feet, Yuzuriha and Chrome joining in when Senku and Gen were both standing, the four of them hugging the couple as they both hugged each other, everyone laughing and some wiping tears from their eyes.

"I still feel so embarrassed though." Minami continued. "Even though I didn't say anything, everyone will think it's weird that I've been gone so long." 

"I doubt it." Tsukasa replied. "If Gen's finally grown tired of listening to his own voice, I'm sure they'll all be too busy celebrating to remember or care." 

"He was still talking when you left?" she asked, her eyes widening in surprise. 

"Unfortunately yes." Tsukasa replied. "But who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be done when we get back." he replied, his last word dying as it passed his lips when they saw Hyoga and Mozu shouting at each other, both men likely intoxicated far more than what any normal people could tolerate. In a morbid twist of fate, (actually just boredom and idle curiosity,) Senku stole some of their DNA and analyzed their ancestry and discovered that not only was 33% of Hyoga's DNA unmatchable to any specific ethnicity, Senku had been unable to match half of Mozu's DNA to anything at all. After Tsukasa stumbled upon the discovery, Senku had dragged him aside one day with a crazed look in his eyes with the warning that if he ever breathed a word about it to anyone else, he would wish he had remained in cryo-sleep and Tsukasa knew better to ignore something that made Senku visibly shaken, so he made no mention of it, knowing that there was no reason to involve himself in whatever the two of them were arguing about.

From what he could make out, they appeared to either be arguing about a) tits and ass (Hyoga chose tits while Mozu chose ass,) or b) tits, ass, and feet, and after one of them said something about fucking someone's mother, they both took out their spears, rushing towards each other. 

Tsukasa wasn't sure which possibility was worse but what he knew for certain was that a) they couldn't get back to the celebration without stopping the fight and b) there was no way in hell he was going to tell the reporter he revived to hide in the forest and hope she would be okay while he tried to stop them. Magma and Yo were one thing, but Tsukasa had no idea what the hell was wrong with Mozu or Hyoga and after Senku's cryptic warning, he had no interest in doing anything to change that. 

Well, surely nobody would miss him too much if he were gone a little while longer, he thought when he felt Minami grip his arm, pressing her body against him in an attempt to hide behind him. Tsukasa glanced to the side, away from Hyoga and Mozu, noticing a small abandoned hut he saw earlier and then back at the tiny woman clinging to him. Of all the ideas he ever had, it wasn't the worst one. 

Minami stood as still as a statue when Tsukasa turned to her, gripping her small hands in his much larger ones. 

"It's fine it we don't go back just yet, actually." Tsukasa told her. 

"Huh?" She blushed as red as Senku when Gen tried to pick him up. "I mean, I don't mind, but it's kind of cold out there, and there's nothing to do." 

"Not necessarily." he replied, glancing at the abandoned hut. "Nobody will miss us if we're gone a little while longer." 

"Are you sure?" she asked, her heart slamming in her chest and her face hot with painfully obvious emotions. 

"Completely, as long as you don't mind." he replied after hearing someone use the word toes twice in the same sentence and trying to resist the momentary urge to rip his own eardrums out. "So what do you want to do?" 

"I, uh,...." Minami hid her face in her hands, blushing wildly as Tsukasa stroked her hair. "I mean, of course,-sorry, I'm just nervous." she replied, looking up for a moment before darting her eyes away when Tsukasa held her hand. 

______

Their chosen location for spending quality time together was nothing more than mediocre but it served its purpose, both of them sitting on a small but usable bed while Tsukasa kissed her neck. 

Minami was still as red as before, but neither of them could see it well thanks to the darkness inside. As dark as it was, thought, Minami noticed and appreciated that she could still see Tsukasa in pretty good detail-he seemed even bigger so close, she thought when he gently laid her down and began leaving soft little kisses all over her neck, collarbone, and chest, stopping only to get more comfortable once and hold her a bit closer before he left a few little bites and the very small marks that they resulted in all over her skin while she threaded her fingers through his long dark hair. 

Eventually, just when she thought the anticipation would make her pass out and not a moment before, Tsukasa slid one hand under her dress, pulling off her underwear in one quick motion before he pushed a finger inside her. 

Tsukasa had to make a conscious effort to control his breathing when he felt how wet she was-he hadn't done anything like this all that often and part of him was unable to control the thrill that he felt that the cute girl underneath him was so eager for him. He thanked every deity he could think of and then some that he never had any interesting in drinking and thus didn't touch a drop of alcohol after Senku's wedding. Knowing that he was stone-cold sober and so was the woman he was with made him all too grateful-this way he could carve this into his long term memory and at the moment, nothing made him happier. 

Still, Tsukasa couldn't help but notice that when he pushed a second finger insider her, Minami tensed up for a moment, looking up at him with an expression that was difficult to read for a moment. 

"Are you alright?-I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, stopping for a moment. 

"Oh, no, I'm fine." she breathed in a restless sort of way. "I just-I just wasn't prepared, like mentally." she continued, one of her hands stroking his hair. "You-you're really good at this, actually." 

"Good." he replied, moving his fingers again. "Let me know if this hurts though." he continued, adding a third finger and, after he took a moment to study her face and make sure she didn't look distressed or in pain, moved them a little faster, continuing until he felt her clench around his fingers just the right way-it took no words for either of them to understand what happened, Tsukasa noting to himself that his breathing sped up while Minami threaded her fingers through his hair a little more forcefully, squeezing her eyes shut. 

"Are you sure? It might hurt a little." Tsukasa asked when she asked him if he wanted to fuck her. 

"Believe me, I'm more than ready." she assured him, stroking his face and gazing up sweetly at him. "To be honest, I've thought about this before-with you-" she paused a moment, as if trying to decide how to word her thoughts. "When you were gone-I told myself I'd rather never have anyone else than do this with someone else besides you." 

Well, fuck, Tsukasa thought as she rested her small hand on his back. She really liked him that much. It was sweet and it also turned him on, way more than he expected it would have been before he "died." Tsukasa had his share of admirers back before the petrification and it didn't move him one way or the other, but now, after befriending her and now being in the position they were currently in, he couldn't deny that it felt almost too good to have a cute, willing woman lying underneath him, especially one as sweet as her. 

Despite all that, however, Tsukasa was aware that he was bigger than most people (or all people, really, if he didn't include Mozu,) and he didn't want to risk hurting her, so he thought of an alternate solution, one that, if everything worked out the way he hoped it would, would satisfy both of them. It was unfortunate that Tsukasa could think of no suitable way to respond to what she just told him but at least he had been able to think of this, he thought. 

"Close your legs for a moment. I'm going to try something, let me know how it feels." Tsukasa told her. "It might be a better idea to do it this way." 

"Um, like this?" she asked him after she did what he asked. 

"Yes, that's fine. Try to stay as still as you can." he told her as he held her legs up, pressing the tip of his cock against her thighs, taking a deep breath before pushing the rest of it in between them. 

"Oh, that's-that feels good-" she breathed, her nails digging into his arm. 

"That's good." he replied in a halting voice, his concentration beginning to break up as he was hit with the pleasant sensation it gave him to be fucking her like that. 

He was unbelievably hard now-if he did what his body wanted him to do, he would have pounded into her as hard as he could, but logically, that would ten billion percent be a bad idea, at least this time. Maybe later, if they ever did this again and he had more time to prepare her, but for now, this would have to do, he thought as he felt his cock slide against her pussy. 

"Mmh, fuck." Tsukasa cursed under his breath, feeling the slick wetness between her legs on the underside of his cock.

It more than delivered, he thought, pulling her legs up and holding them together with one hand-he was tall enough that there was no way to pull her legs over his shoulders but it turned out alright-more than alright, he thought as he increased the pace of his thrusts and she held onto his arms with as firm a grasp as she could manage-Tsukasa barely felt it but neither of them cared, finding that everything felt better than either of them anticipated. 

"Please...don't stop..." Minami's soft, high-pitched voice as she moaned in delight was way more pleasant to listen to than Gen rambling about whatever, Tsukasa thought as the cute girl under him kept a firm grip on his arms, (or, as firm as she could manage, at least.) 

"Of course not." Tsukasa said in a low, husky voice. 

His voice was deep and rought and yet calm and soothing, sending a shiver of delight down her spine as he thrust against her hard and fast. Neither of them spoke much after that, finding it too difficult to concentrate on words." 

"Mm, fuck,-" Tsukasa mumbled, noticing that he was close now-he was glad he made sure he had satisfied her first because he wasn't sure which one of them would finish first now, at least at first. A few seconds passed, and he soon got the feeling it would be him, and while he still had the ability to focus on doing something consciously, he shoved two of his fingers in her mouth, finding that he was more than pleased when she sucked on them gently, gripping his hand in both of hers as he thrust against her, fucking her thighs harder for the last few thrusts before he finished-though he hadn't been aware of it in the exact moment, she hadn't been too far behind him, and after a few more shallower thrusts on his part to help her ride through it, she finished as well, squeezing her thighs around him in the most perfect way. 

"We probably ought to head back now, I guess." Minami said after he lied on top of her for a while, kissing her all over while they both let their hands wander over each other. "How far is it back to the village?" 

"Only a little less than a mile, about half a mile actually." Tsukasa replied, suddenly disappointed that the hut they were in had no windows, as he would have to open the door to see if Hyoga and Mozu were still out there. "But first I need to check something, so stay there a moment." he told her after putting his clothes back on, walking up to the door and opening it just a crack. 

When he saw that the coast was clear, he turned back to her only to find out that, after she had hastily thrown on her dress again, she had passed out cold on the bed, breathing softly and peacefully as if she were sleeping like a rock. 

"Well, it's really not that safe out here, we should go back." Tsukasa thought, picking her up and carrying her on his shoulders piggy-back style. 

As he had excellent night vision, it wouldn't take him long at all, he thought, holding her legs tightly so she wouldn't fall as he made his way back, finding the moderate coolness of the night air refreshing and the way the stars lit up the sky pleasing to look at, even if he didn't have time to do more than just glance at them for a brief moment. 

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this was one of those times, Tsukasa thought when, just as they reached the border of the village, he saw a haggard, frazzled looking Kinrou and Ginrou standing there, leaning on their spears. The bags under their eyes were disturbingly pronounced, Tsukasa noted. 

"Are you gonna kill anyone? Please don't be a killer invading the village, we're too tired to fight right now." Ginrou moaned, his legs wobbling as he struggled to support his weight with his spear. 

"Shut up Ginrou, it's a special night so we only have to be on guard duty for two more hours, and it's Tsukasa, he's not here to kill us." Kinrou scolded his brother. "And besides, we made our poor decision to have too much caffeine and now we're just gonna have to endure the resulting caffeine crash until it goes away." 

Tsukasa couldn't care less about any of that, so he just lied and told them he had forgotten something and had left to find it, nodding when Kinrou gave him the go-ahead to enter Ishigami village. Since Minami was still asleep, Tsukasa decided to find an empty hut inside the village to drop her off in while he went and checked on Mirai again-she had already gone to bed a while ago, but he wanted to make sure she was safe and then afterwards he would spend the rest of the night in the empty hut with Minami, but like many plans in his life, it was never able to actually go as planned, as once he stepped into the main area of the village where the majority of the houses were, Tsukasa heard an ear-splitting scream. 

"Our house!" Tsukasa heard a voice that was distinct enough to belong only to a certain scientist who had just gotten married after a thunderous crash and the sound of various yells and shouts filled the air right as Magma and Yo fell right on top of Senku and Gen's new house as an intoxicated Mozu and Kohaku, who didn't pay enough attention when throwing the two morons, accidentally threw them right on top of Senku and Gen's house that old man Kaseki had built for them just a few days ago. 

"What the hell just landed on that house?" Tsukasa asked himself despite the creeping feeling that he didn't actually want to know the answer. 

"Hey, fuck you, you swirly eyebrowed freak, you weren't even invited!" Chrome, still hopped up on copious amounts of caffeine, hollered at Mozu, who jut shrugged. 

"Oops, not my fault I happened to wander in the village while there's a party going on." Mozu drawled. 

"I thought I told you about that." Kohaku noted, leaning on Mozu while they both stared at an unconscious Magma and Yo as they laid on what would have been Senku and Gen's new house. "But maybe I was too drunk-"she paused for a moment while Ukyo nervously wandered over to Magma and Yo to check to see if either of them had a pulse. "Oh, thank God, there are still heartbeats." 

"Aw, wait, no, I wasn't drunk, I was smoking." Kohaku, who had experienced quite the amount of mixed emotions when she saw Senku and Gen get married, finished her sentence after a significant delay, grumbling a bit when Mozu slapped her ass. 

"Aw, shove it up you ass you weird eyebrow freak!" Chrome yelled, followed by more yells and shouts and screams from various people. 

"On second thought, maybe we should have spent the night out there." Tsukasa thought, considering the ethical implications of breaking into the nearest hut he could find and bashing his head against the hardest wall in there until he, too, could enjoy the sweet embrace of being unconscious.

**Author's Note:**

> The bit about Hyoga and Mozu was inspired by this reddit no sleep story: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/cfbfnx/stop_signing_up_for_23andme/


End file.
